Fayrie tales

A year ago today, my whole life changed. 

A year ago today, I heard the voice of the woman who gave birth to me… for the first time since she gave me away.

A year ago today, I picked up the phone, knowing that life would never be the same. 

A year ago yesterday, I got the email that changed my world… The email that gave me my roots, my place, my fit.

A year ago today, I made the phone call, sitting in a room full of sleeping children, and wondering just how much everything was going to change. 

Scared, nervous, exited, happy, sad… all in one moment.  Shaking, wondering, questioning, everything that I was, and everything that was to come.  Not knowing the outcome, not having a clue how the rest of it could possibly go.  I picked up the phone and dialed. 

Wondered if she would answer the phone, and she did. 

A year ago today, I found the woman who made me me.  The one who gave me my freckles, and my eyes and my smile.  The one who shared her genetics for short legs… her dislike of tomatoes, and that freakish way of eating chicken dipped in mayonnaise.  Who made me laugh, and cry, and question everything and every bit of who and what I am. 

The woman who made me me, who gave me my life, and gave me a chance. 

The reason that I am alive on this earth today. 

A year ago today…

Lately, I haven’t been so involved in the life that exists here in cyberspace.  I cannot explain why, I just suppose sometimes things change and life takes you away for a while. 

I am trying, very hard, to work out a lot of the different things in my life.  Its never easy, and it takes time.  

Adoption is still very much a part of my life, I suppose it always will be.  It makes up a part of who I am, and I have the families that I have because of it. 

However, it is as much a part of me as my left foot, and in all reality, I don’t spend much time thinking about my left foot, and I am trying to shy away from thinking too much about adoption and what that means to me. 

I was adopted, can I say I have 100% accepted it?  Probably not.  I don’t think I am that good.  However, I have come to a point, at least at this moment, that it doesn’t bother me too much.  I can find a place for those things and others that have caused me pain.  Can even be thankful for it at times, because I really have to wonder where I would have fit.  Because really now, I have found where I fit.  I have a lot of other things going on.  I have family, new and old, that I spend a lot of time with and devote much of my attention to.  I am going to be moving, I am going back to school, so many things in my life are changing… I don’t have much time to spend here anymore. 

At least for now. 

To my friends here…. and the forum… I miss you and think about you IRL and hope for the best for each and every one of you 🙂  You guys are the only ones who have ever really understood, the only ones I could talk to about a subject so difficult that only others who know what it feels like can understand.  I love you, and thank you.